Slut Dragons and Talking Cats: The latest Rick and Morty episode is the weirdest yet

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Just a picture of Rick “Soul Bonding” with a Dragon

I’ll say this about the current season of Rick and Morty. It keeps surprising me in new and delightfully disgusting ways.

This weeks episode, titled “Claw and Hoarder: Special Ricktim’s Morty”, presents us with another scenario of Morty asking Rick for a reward he promised, a fair trade for having his young life risked yet again on an crazy adventure.

Morty just wants one thing.

A dragon.

Rick tries to renege on his promise, believing dragons are lame and saying “You know whose into dragons Morty? Nerds who refuse admit their christian.” However, Rick eventually relents and summons a wizard to initiate a soul bond between Morty and his new grumpy dragon, Balthromaw. This goes as well as expected, because Balthromaw isn’t too thrilled to be beholden to the whims of a 14 year Zoomer. Later, some accidental fire breathing is the final straw for Rick and he goes Slay the beast. However the two end up bonding over the dragons collection of treasure, and their mutual love drugs and freedom. This tender moment initiates a REAL soul bond. Unlike the contract based one made with Morty, this one is much more…..intimate. This insane scenario ends with Morty and Summer finding out, Morty ripping up the deal, Barlhromaw being captured for being a “Slut Dragon”, and Rick and Morty having to go save him from being hanged.

While Rick, Morty and summer are getting into highly magical and highly kinky hi-jinks, Jerry has his own weird little story going on with a talking cat, inimically voiced by Matthew Broderick. Why does the cat talk? Where does it come from? The cat thinks you should learn to not ask questions and just have fun. This episode was probably one most weirdest and vulgar yet, and I haven’t even mentioned the “Slut Dragon Orgy Super Phoenix” yet.

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Just a talking cat. Nothing to see here.

While it could very well be argued that this was one of the more uneven and inconsequential episodes in the series lineup ( the words “Slut”, “Slut Dragon” and “Fuck” are beaten into the ground very quickly), I would personally argue that its also one of the funniest in recent memory. The surreal scene of a wizard whipping and slut shaming a dragon, will be stuck inside my mind for weeks. While the side plot with Jerry and the Cat is admittedly boring and starts to feel like a waste time the more it goes on, the hilarious pay off is dark as it is vague.

By the time the episode was over, I knew fans were going to either love it or hate it. It relies too much on cursing and sexual/gross out humor, and yet for some reason the longer the episode played, the more I laughed. The whole episode feels like something Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland wrote while they were drunk or playing D&D. But I’m willing to bet real money that they couldn’t stop giggling to themselves while were writing it.

You should definitely watch Atlantis: The Lost Empire

“Criminally underrated”-Me, 2019

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*theatrical poster*

Its really crazy how viewing a movie at a completely different age can completely change the experience.

I had thought I saw this film back when I was a kid. My memory of it was “eh it was I guess?”. Well, either at some point I had my memory wiped or my memory is in a much graver state than I previously imagined. Because after watching this charming animated adventure again on Disney+, I feel really really silly and also slightly disoriented.

Atlantis: The Lost Empire is a 2001, animated, Sci-fi action adventure, and at the time was Disney’s 41st animated feature film. It was one of the few Disney animated features at the time that instead of being a musical, was focused solely on being action-adventure film inspired by the works of Jules Verne and old Sci-fi comic serials. It also had a art style heavily influenced by comic creator Mike Mignola, the creator of Hellboy.

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concept art for atlantis by Mignola

The film follows Milo Thatch, a cartographer and linguist at the Smithsonian Institution, who is mocked and chastised for his passionate research and belief in the Sunken city of Atlantis. He however catches a break when an old friend of his grandfather, funds his expedition, and gives him a jaw dropping submarine, the Ulysses, with a very eccentric yet highly skilled skilled crew.

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The Expedition Crew From left to right: Cookie (Head Chef), Mrs Packard (Radio operator), Dr Sweet (Medical officer), Vinny– (Demolitions expert), Mole ( Geologist), and Audrey (Mechanic)

The crew depart on their expedition but are quickly attacked by the monstrous Leviathan, a robotic lobster-like creature that guards Atlantis’ entrance. The Ulysses is wrecked but the crew narrowly make it inside the city, which is where Milo meet Princess Kida. From there we learn of the tragic fate of the lost city, and where the true conflict of story seeps in.

While the overall plot of Atlantis is pretty straight forward, save for maybe a twist or two, the biggest strengths of the movie come from the beautiful animation and art direction, as well as the very quick paced and intelligent dialogue, with the dynamic of the crew tying everything together. The whole movie could have been just these characters riffing off of each other and I might have been satisfied. But if that happened we would have never gotten the visual feast for the eyeballs that is the action packed climax or the beautifully drafted piece of art that is the lost city itself.

It was Written and Directed by Gary Trousedale and Kirk Wise ,who also directed Beauty and The Beast, along with The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Another writing credit also goes to JOSH WHEDON, ya know the guy who’s responsible for things like *ahem* :

  • Toy Story
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer
  • Firefly
  • Angel
  • Serenity
  • Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog
  • The Cabin in the woods
  • The first two Avengers movies

Yea. That guy.

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The gangs all here

Listen, by no means am I saying Atlantis is a perfect movie, it has a few flaws. Some of the characters (including the villain) are bit one dimensional, and the climax starts pretty quickly. But I believe this movie deserves more than a 49% on rotten tomatoes. An animated movie with this much passion put into it, deserves a another look. In contrast to some of the mindless corporate garbage we get, this is absolutely a movie worth your time.

Movie Review: Green Room

I need this poster in my life

Green Room is the punk rock thriller we needed and deserved.

The first time I watched Green Room, it couldn’t have been a more appropriate time. It was around earlier this year and I had recently developed an almost a mad infatuation with punk music. I’m not quite sure what triggered it, but all i know is that for months I was devouring all the info I could find about classic bands like: The Clash, FEAR, Black Flag and The Dead Kennedys.

So when I finally decided to watch the film (after having it in my watch-list for an embarrassing amount of time) it was out of desire to just ingest anything hardcore punk related. I wasn’t expecting the movie to completely blow me away, but as soon the credits hit the screen, I knew this was banger.

Green Room is a tense, claustrophobic, darkly humorous, thriller about Punks vs Neo-Nazis. It has no right being as good as it is.

The unfortunate heroes of our story are Pat (Anton Yelchin), Sam (Alia Shawkat), Reece (Joe Cole) and Tiger (Callum Turner). Four members of a struggling punk band called the Ain’t Rights, who get by playing in embarrassingly small venues and siphoning gas when they’re desperate. Contrary to how I just described them, the film does an excellent job of making these characters very likeable. They’re crass yet laid back attitude,clear passion and friendship immediately charms you and succeeds in making later events feel more even harrowing.

Down on their luck after a cancelled show, they begrudgingly accept a gig at a Skinhead bar in the backwoods of Portland. After a particularly hostile set, where they play a cover of the Dead Kennedys song “Nazi punks F**ck Off”, they begin packing up, leading Sam to forget her phone in the green room, only to discover a grisly murder scene. From this point on they become trapped in the green room and the skinhead leader Darcy (played chillingly by Sir Patrick Stewart) comes in to “handle the situation”. From there the film becomes a visceral cramped nightmare.

What was so refreshing about the films premise is the strength of all the characters clashing personalities, and the complexities of the Neo-Nazi groups hierarchy, coupled with a extremely tense build to the gory chaos. The disaster the bands been thrown into feels frighteningly realistic, especially because of the growing real world anxiety of the violent alt-right. I definitely would fear running into a skinhead in the wrong part of town, let alone an entire sect.

The skinheads in the are not portrayed as mustache twirling goons or as mindless killers. This aint that type of movie.

Rather, they’re shown as cold and calculated foot soldiers, who would do anything for “the cause”. This includes faking a stabbing between two willing members to throw off the police and using rabid dogs to hunt our poor musicians. This is in contrast to the band pretty much making most of their decisions pretty much on the fly. Its a war between two ideologies: Living in the moment vs unwavering military-like discipline.

Patrick Stewart is chilling as the Neo Nazi Ring Leader

While the whole cast is great in their own right, the two brightest stars are the late Anton Yelchin as the band leader Pat, and Patrick Stewart as Darcy. These two completely throw themselves into their roles and elevate the movie to classic status. Pats transformation from naive band leader to frenzied survivor is great to watch, and a certain brutal scene involving a door, and some sharp knives will have you cringing. The wit and vulnerability he brings to his character is something you don’t see a lot in horror movies, and its a tragedy that an talent like Yelchin passed so young.

Last but certainly not least we have Darcy, the skinhead leader. As soon as Patrick Stewart casually dropped the n-word, I knew I was in for a treat. Whats terrifying about Darcy is how calm and methodical he is while coordinating atrocities. He speaks calmly and intelligently. Even when talking to the band through the Green Room door, he speaks in warm tones, barely ever raising his voice. This is man who values loyalty, discipline, and most importantly, control. He orders around his men and orchestrates plans with almost navy seal like precision, its like the darkest timeline version of Jean luc Picard. My only gripe is that this is the only character I truly wished we got some background on, to see just how this man fell so far into the Neo-Nazi underworld.

Its pretty safe to say that I love Green Room and Director Jeremy Saulnier is slowing becoming one of my favorite new directors. He is master of playing with audience expectations and is always looking for a way to subvert expectations. If you want a great thriller that doesn’t waste your time, Green Room is where its at.

9 out of 10

Green Room was written and directed by Jeremy Saulnier

Rated R

Genre: Horror/Thriller

Streaming On: Netflix

I HAVE RETURNED!

After a few weeks of silence, im gonna try and get back on the saddle. I was in the middle of a big move and numerous family issues came up, but hopefully now I can finally focus the website. Thanks to the 10 people who actually read my handful of articles so far, and if this is your first time here. Welcome.

Godzilla: King Of Monsters was ROYALLY disappointing

The most run-of-mill blockbuster Ive seen in a longtime

I’m gonna be honest and state that my expectations for this movie weren’t high. I wasn’t expecting a beautifully choreographed action movie, and I wasn’t expecting thought provoking drama. I just wanted a fun, and maybe a bit goofy monster movie. And Full disclosure I came into viewing of this…product….slightly tipsy. Everything was set up for this to be a fun night.

Fun was nowhere to be found.

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mood for this movie

I have never seen a movie that was this bloated and yet so shallow in a long time. The movie hits you over the head with so much exposition and world building, all for it to not amount to ANYTHING. By the time the actual monsters do show up, I couldn’t care less about what was going on. Unfocused is the best way to describe it.

Lets get what little good there was out of the way first.

  1. The movie itself looks good. Godzilla and other the titans that appear in the movie have weight to them and the scenes where they each make first appearance are handled well enough. The best looking being Mothra, who in my opinon, the movie should have focused on. Mothra arguably has the most breathtaking scenes in the movie.
  2. Ken Watanabe, who plays Dr. Ishirō Serizawa, gives the best performance in the entire movie. His character is an earnest scientist who just wants the titans are misunderstood creatures, that could benefit mankind, instead of destroying it. Its clear that Watanabe put the most effort into his role, because everyone else looks like their just going through the motions. Why he wasn’t the main character in boggles the mind.

Now to talk about everything else that was awful. The plot, and characters.

The plot is convoluted for absolutely no reason. It has so many characters and plot devices stuffed into it, none of which you actually care about. It wants you care about the main character saving his idiot wife and daughter. It wants you like all of these quirky scientists and soldiers, who all feel they were ripped from a cheesy blockbuster from the 90s. The movie focused on the human element so much, and dumped exposition to such a gross degree, that it drained all the excitement from my body. When the fighting between the monsters actually started I couldn’t care less. THE MAIN THING I WAS THERE TO SEE WAS ROBBED FROM ME.

The main human villain in the film is as generic as they come. So much, that the movie actually forget about him by the time climax arrives! Its honestly hilarious. Theres a little twist near the middle of movie, revealing that a main character was helping the bad guys all along. But its so poorly though out, that it boggles the mind as to why it was even filmed in the first place.

One excuse Ive heard for this movie was “oh its supposed to be all about the action and spectacle, who cares that the plot is bad?”. First of all, the actual battles themselves are OK at best, its nothing we haven’t seen before in similar movies like Pacific Rim or Transformers; just CGI models fighting each other. The awe of CGI action is wearing off, and this movie has only accelerated that for me. Second of all, and I cant stress this enough: Good writing and Good characters give purpose to the action. If the writing doesn’t hold, and the action is just so-so, what exactly is supposed to keep you invested? Thats just asking for me to fall asleep in the theater.

At the end of the day, Godzilla King of Monsters wasn’t the worst Ive ever seen. But it is definitely up there with one of the most baffling and most cliche. Everything about it makes me believe it was cynically written a board room, only trying to satisfy the widest possible audience. And when you to try please everybody, you end up pleasing no one.

RocketMan is the perfect movie to celebrate Pride Month

I left my viewing of “Rocketman” smiling ear to ear.

For the last few months Ive been watching many amazing movies; old and new. But I had come realize over the last few weeks, that a great number of them were either incredibly DARK or ended on slightly nihilistic note. Theres nothing at all wrong with a film that deals with morally bankrupt charterers, in fact some of my favorite films include : Reservoir Dogs, American Beauty, The Master, etc.

But to be blunt. Some of the best films Ive ever seen, are kinda downers.

Rocketman changes that tune ( pun intended), by being great biopic that, while not shying away from the darkest parts of Sir Elton Johns early life ( sex,drugs and Rock n Roll), it doesn’t wallow in darkness or cynicism. Instead it chooses to focus on a story of perseverance, neglectful childhoods , and most importantly, finding self-worth in a truly toxic environment.

The film opens with Elton John (played by Taron Egort) dressed in a bright orange devil suit storming down a corridor. As the song “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” plays, we come to find out that Elton is not rushing to perform to adoring fans, but instead has come to rehab center to seek help and explain the events of his life that have led to this very moment. As Elton tells his story, he also physically relives it, with the musical number “The Bitch is Back” taking him back to his childhood.

From there we experience the fantasy-like odyssey that is Elton’s life. Beginning with him discovering his close-to-genius talent with the piano, while dealing with his callous and unloving parents, who seem to see him as an annoyance. Then we go onto his start into pop stardom; meeting his longtime collaborator and friend Bernie Taupin, being discovered by a label and impressing American audiences with his voice and showmanship. Things seem to be going well for Elton.

However with all this success is going on, we truly see and feel how lonely Elton is through all of this. Struggling with sexual identity, afraid to open himself to anyone except his friend Bernie, who is immeadiatly accepting of his friends struggles. Coupled with the baggage of having horrible parents and only feeling genuine from a very small group of people, the film portrays Elton John as figure constantly seeking approval and love, while also becoming more and more flamboyant with his costumes. As his success increases, so does his insecurity and reliance on drugs and alcohol. This is all further stressed by the arrival of John Reid, who becomes Elton’s manager and lover. On the service John is suave and intelligent, but as time goes on we see how truly manipulative and emotionally damaging he really is.

Remember when I said this movie wasn’t depressing?

However through all these trials and traumatic emotional episodes, Rocketman tells a story of redemption and self-care. The classic theme that “all that glitters is not gold”, is used exceptionally well here and that before seeking love and approval from other people, one must first love themselves. All of this beautifully told through great musical numbers, my favorites being “Honkey Cat” and “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road“. All of actors seem to be loving their roles and play their parts with humor and emotional weight.

The film isn’t perfect though. Some of the writing is VERY corny ,a little too on the nose , and it doesn’t help the story starts to drag near the end. Also, while the movie doesn’t shy away from the problematic parts of Elton Johns personality, It still felt like some punches were pulled in reference to Elton infamous anger issues and temper tantrums. If the film was any more hokey, it might feel like a vanity project.

But what truly makes Rocketman special is its never-say-die attitude and optimism, combined with breathtaking cinematography and documentary-level eye for detail; with all of Elton’s famous stage costumes and mannerisms captured on screen.

I had a blast watching Rocketman. This biopic is a hyperactive musical that’s brimming with life and tongue-in-cheek creativity, that also doesn’t try to look away from or censor some of the darker and explicit aspects of the aging Pop-stars life.

7.5 out of 10

Slacker News: “CYBORG JOHN WICK????????”Keanu Reeves to appear CYBERPUNK 2077 video game (release date:2020)

The John Wick Star and release date revealed at E3.

Cyberpunk 2077 has revealed a little bit of its grimy sci-fi story, most notably that it will start the perpetually youthful Keanu Reeves, star of John Wick and Bill & Ted. Check out the cinematic trailer above. 

Reeves also came out on stage to tell us the release date. Cyberpunk 2077 is due out on April 16, 2020. Getting Keanu Reeves to announce your game’s release date is, I’m sure we can all agree, a strong move. 

The trailer takes place after the events shown off in last year’s gameplay reveal, with V—a man this time—returning to his big shot employer to get his reward. Through a flashback, we find out his buddy was killed during the job, and V almost joins him.”

Source:https://www.pcgamer.com/cyberpunk-2077-release-date/